Typical topics include:
- logistics
- ambitions
- priorities in life
- values in terms of family and friends
- personality type
- day to day habits
- preferences and abilities
- childhood experiences
- romantic and sexual triggers
In order to make it work, you should consider the following after asking a question;
- her answers
- your responses to her answers
- any stories you choose to tell
- and sequencing into another topic
- Why is that?
- What are your thoughts on X?
- How does that make you feel?
- What is it about X that you like/dislike?
- If you could change X or have it differently, what might you prefer, why?
The following structure can be a comfort conversational escalation ladder that you can use:
Logistics
Where do you live? How far? With parents, friends, flatmates?
How old are you?
Goals and Hobbies
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Do you have any hobbies? (No, so what do you do in your spare time?)
Who do you spend the most time with?
What do you like doing more than anything else? If you could be paid to be anything in the world what would it be?
If you could be anyone or anything for one day, what would it be?
What's the best/worst job you ever had?
Are you rich? Do you plan to be?
What's your proudest accomplishment?
Priorities
What matters most to you - career, family, friends or guys?
If you won the lottery, what would you spend it on?
If you died today, what would you miss most? What would you be saddest about not being able to do in the future?
Friends
What kind of crowd do you hang out with these days?
Do you keep friends for long? Are you still close with high school/university friends?
Do you have a best friend? How long have you known them?
What's important to you for someone to be a good friend?
Personality type
In a word, how would you describe yourself? How do you think your friends would describe you?
If they bottled your personality what would it be called?
A new law says you have to change your name to match your personality, so what shall we call you from now on?
If you were to be an animal, what would you be and why?
How often do you do new things or make plans and follow through on them?
If you're going to change your name, what would you make it?
What female celebrity would you most like to be? Which do you relate to most and why? If they were to make a movie about your life, who would you want as the role lead?
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Philosophy
What do you live your life by? What's your motto?
If your life was rated a movie, what classification would it get, which genre?
If you were in a western on a wanted poster, what would be your crime?
If you could have one magical power, which one would it be and how would you use it?
What in life do you fear?
What do you think most about - past, present or future?
Swimming in a cold pool, do you wade in slowly or jump? What about bandaids, do you tear it straight off or bit by bit?
What do you think life would have been like if you were a guy? What would you like most/least about being the opposite sex?
Day to day
Shower or bath? Hot or cold? Long or short? Morning or night?
Alarm clock - how many snoozes a day?
Sleeping - snorer? Nightlight? Sleep walker? Midnight snacker?
Phobias? Spiders, snakes, planes?
Partying
What do you get like when you're drunk?
When was the first time you got really hammered?
Favourite drink?
Who holds you back when you've had one too many?
What was the closest you ever came to being arrested?
What are some of your favourite clubs? Do you have any good connections?
What's the craziest party you've ever been to and what happened?
Food
Do you cook, what's your best dish?
What's the primary staple of your diet?
What's your worst temptation?
If you could have anything right now to eat, what would it be?
Seasonal
Favourite season?
Favourite holiday? Christmas and family, big deal? Halloween and what to wear? Wildest New Year's?
Sports
What's the most daring stunt you've ever pulled?
When's the last time you went on a good rollercoast and felt your stomach just drop out beneath you?
Music/Movies/Tv
What's your favourite kind of music?
What's your favourite CD?
What's the last concert you saw?
What's the most embarrassing CD you ever owned?
Did you ever play a musical instrument? Well?
Which genre of movies? Scariest movie you've seen?
Fashion/Style
Favourite place to shop?
If you were granted unlimited funds, what would you splurge it on?
What's the scariest thing in your closet?
What's your favourite item of clothing?
What's your most embarrassing hairstyle you ever had?
What do you like your style to project you as a person?
Family
Which of your relatives are you closest with? Who understands you the most/best? Who do you miss the most when you go away?
If you weren't feeling well, who would be there to take care of you?
What sort of role do you play in your family?
Who's the strict one in your family?
Who in your family would you like to be closer to?
Who's the annoying one, like the one on holidays who asks 'Are we there yet' or pokes people?
Who's your funniest relative?
What's your family like at get togethers?
Siblings? What were the best and worst things about having them around?
Pets
Are you an animal lover? Geez not that kind, which country do we live in?
What's the first pet you ever owned? What was the weirdest pet you ever had? Most affectionate pet?
Cats or dogs?
Regression
What were you like as a kid?
Were you a troublemaker. I bet you tried to be totally badass.
Were you more likely to get dirty in the mud or host a dainty tea party?
Which one - teddy bear or dolls? Did you have a favourite? What was its name? What did it look like? Do you still have it today?
Which childhood toy do you most wish you could get back?
What were you most likely to run around the house pretending to be?
Did you ever belong to a clubhouse (girls only)?
Video games? Even as a kid? Extra points if it was a NES.....Duck Hunt?
What did you do with your summers as a kid?
Do you remember your tongue twisters? What's the hardest one you learned?
You know that nursery rhyme 'this little pig went to market?' How did that go?
Did you clown around a lot? What's the goofiest face you can make?
Growing Up
What was your most awkward geekiest age and why?
If you could go back in time, what advice would you give yourself?
What's the worst you ever cheated in school?
How have you changed most since you were a kid?
How have you changed most in the last five years?
Were girls ever attracted to cartoon characters growing up?
Holistic
Do you believe in ESP?
Do you read your horoscope?
Have you ever seen a psychic? Had a tarot/palm reading?
Faith, life and death
Are you religious, spiritual, both/neither?
Do you ever wonder what happens after it all?
What's the closest you ever came to dying?
Do you ever consider that it could all be over, or things could change in a heartbeat just about any minute of the day?
Travel/worldliness
What's the best place you've ever been?
If you were to live anywhere else in the world, where would you go?
What's the longest vacation you've ever been on?
Romance
Who was the first boy you ever had a crush on?
Have you ever been in love, like the big one with the capital L? How did you know it?
Have you ever just met someone and yet somehow, felt almost as if you'd known them your whole life? Like it's just that easy to relate to them?
What's the first signal, the first recognition you get inside yourself when you know you're really, really attracted to someone?
What's your idea of a dream date? Describe your dream getaway.
Have you ever prepared a candlelight dinner?
Have you ever had/made breakfast in bed?
Have you ever picked a guy up before? Do you think you could?
What's something nice your exs say about you? Something not nice?
Her kind of guys
What kind of guys do you usually go for?
Who is your favourite celebrity? Which celebrity have you had a secret crush on?
In the movie of your life, who would play your love interest? Who would play you?
If your perfect guy was an ice cream what would it be called?
Who would you most like to be stuck in an elevator with for 15 minutes? If it was your birthday, who would you most like to see jump out of the cake? Whose shower curtain would you most like to be? (and don't say 'me' - we just met).
What does your family think about your taste?
Have you ever bought a guy flowers before? What have you bought?
Kiss
What was your first kiss like?
On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate yourself as a kisser?
Would you like to kiss me?
Sex
What's the sexiest food for a date?
What's your favourite body part? On you, not me, I already know that one....
Do you give good massages? Anyone can say they do. Show me some.
What's the sexiest piece of clothing you own?
Have you ever been to a strip joint? Did you get a lap dance?
What do you find the sexiest job for a guy to have?
Thong, g string or granny panties?
What do you think about male body hair? Shave, wax or trim? What about female?
What's the most exciting place you've ever hooked up with a guy?
Dominant or submissive?
In your experience, is sex a good time for conversation? Vocal or quiet? Dirty talk, small talk or none at all?
Have you ever had a one night stand?
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