Online Game

Profile headings:

Run Away, Little Girl!

Don't Read This!

Too Toxic For You!

I Eat Girls Like You For Breakfast

Beauty is Common, Quality Isn't.

Good Girls Need Not Apply

Unless You're As Hot as Mary Poppins

Sorry, I only Date Supermodels

Sorry, I'm Just Really into my Career Right Now

Untameable and Enjoyable

Confessions of a Hong Kong Bachelor

Great photographer looking to photograph you

Imagine Now.

A great profile:

I'm a selfish prick. (Describe looks and physique). I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks. I do what I want when I want.

If I had to write a newspaper personal, it would read something like this. I'm a well hung sexually talented stud looking for a married woman who wants to make her husband jealous in order to procure expensive gifts from him.

I'm a selfish prick. Good-looking, successful, thin toned body. Young enough to do it, but old enough to do it right. I don't smoke. I'm lots of fun, but I don't have time for petty drama or emotional hysterics. Also, I'm intelligent and well educated and I don't care what anyone else thinks of me. I do what I want, when I want, but you probably figured that our already.

If I had to write a newspaper personal, it would read something like this: Handsome, cultured, intellectual with a big dick, marathon tongue seeks beautiful woman for committed long term relationship for purposes of making boyfriend/husband insanely jealous in order to secure diamonds, jaguars, new home in prestige area or beach front property. Multi-orgasmic training included at no charge.

A more nice guy approach could be as follows:

Frequent Traveller seeks 1st Class Companion

Is there more to you than meets the eye? Are you curious, adventurous and interesting?

I could tell you lots about me. For example, my eyes are blue, 5'8", athletic, have a good job and pay my bills on time blah, blah, blah.

But I'm sure you have read tons of self-descriptions by men on this site. Whatever happened to all those truth and advertising laws? Do they apply to online dating?

At any rate, I love to spend time traveling. I prefer to keep my circle of friends small. Don't get me wrong. I have lots of acquaintances and I enjoy spending time with them when I can. But true friends are special and rare, and love them deeply.

This is why I work diligently on my relationships to keep them healthy and growing.

It could be my British roots, I was born in the UK, but I believe there is no better way to spend an afternoon or evening than in the company of an exceptional woman sharing dreams, stories and ideas lingering over a cup of something delicious.

I'm seeking a woman who is striking on the outside and down-to-earth on the inside. If you're the typical HK girl who is more interested in her image than her ideas. Don't waste your time by messaging me.

However, if you're the exceptional women and you view us as being compatible. Then I'd love to meet you in person. The way that real people meet each other.

For first date:

What if I told you that you could dine at the city's most luxurious restaurant (I'm talking five-star rating) for just 20 quid? You'd call me nuts, right? Well, it's not only possible, but I'm willing to prove it by taking you to the city's finest anonymous italian bistro, right along the river. I have a reservation for this Saturday night and I'd like you to be my teammate to help me with my challenge. The idea is to budget ourselves 40 pounds for a five course meal -- and see if we can pull it off! And I'm not talking just a quick bite at a local diner either. I'm talking about a five-star restaurant, spectacular food, a couple of glasses of Chianti and intriguing conversation. Interested? If this idea sounds familiar, they have a similar show on the Food Network. But I'm sure we can one-up them. So what do you say? Will you be my cohort for the night?

If you have a header like Don't Read This, then go with this ad:

Do you always follow instructions this well? LOL. Don't read unless you can handle a man with a strong multi-faceted personality. I'm a little bit rockstar, faux psychologist, philosopher, comedian all rolled up in one. Throw in a good helping of mischeif, and blend well in a hot tub.

Ladies, thanks for all the emails. If I don't respond today, don't be offended. I'll reply wcen if I don't think we'd jive. It's called 'manners'.

I'm going to list what I don't want rather than what I want. If you're bright enough to figure it out, email me.

If you have no idea why you do what you do, and your therapist has to sort out why your life is such a mess, we won't jive.

I expect someone as attractive as I am. However, if your bra size exceeds your IQ, we won't jive. Sorry, I'm not impressed by looks alone. If that's all you've got, we probably won't hit it off. Street smarts and a kind heart go a long way.

I don't control nor manipulate, but rest assured I will influence (I'll lead you into some mischief and you'll like it). If you are a control freak, we won't get along. Go find an insecure spineless wuss to lick your boots, there are plenty to choose from. If you thrive by playing manipulative games, guess what? I recognize them immediately and they don't work on me.

If you're a high maintenance Barbie, we won't connect well. However, if you can go from tom boy to decked out hottie, I'll think you're quite sexy.

I grew up mostly around women, so I'll treat you with respect. If you can't do the same, we won't get along. I can be sensitive when necessary, but I'm not a punching bag. I'll roll up my sleeves and carry you when needed, but I won't repeatedly rescue you from self-created crises. I'll surprise you with chocolate when you're PMSing, but if you go off on me for no reason, I'll eat the chocolate myself.

Age doesn't matter to me, emotional maturity does. If drama follows you around, contact a talent agency.

If you're peddling your webcam site, don't bother. Why would I webcam with you when I can have the real thing? If you want bootie-pay, get a job at the Men's club.

Relationships are not fairy tales. I'm not Prince Charming and you're not a princess. It takes work from two. If you don't get it, we won't jive. I can bring fantasy to life (can you?), but we have to re-visit reality occasionally. I can sweep you off your feet, but you'll have to knock my socks off. If you don't get me barefooted, you probably can't.

At the end of the invitation say:

Hey if you think we're a match, message me now.

Job Titles

Full-contact Origami referee

Subway Sandwich Artist

Disposable Lighter Repairman

Traffic Light Repairman

Bomb Disposal Expert

Inflatable Dartboard Salesman

Parachute Packer for Skydivers

Rock Band Member

First Message Examples

I saw your profile and there is no way you are actually (age). I am going to have to see your driver's licence, I'm afraid, before I can take you out ;)

After a rigorously breif overview of your profile. I wanted to let you know I have already married and divorced you in my mind.

Thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories. You will always have a special place in my heart.

Your ex-hubby,

Name

PS You can keep the house in Hawaii, but I am going to need half our money according to our prenup.

I was browsing through the site and saw your picture. I just couldn't help but wonder what else you have going on for you besides your looks. Please, email me.

Hi, you look like someone who deserves an opportunity to get to know me a little better, so if you wanna chat and get to know each other. I look forward to hearing from you.

I was browsing the profiles and found yours of all people. At first your picture caught my eye, but I couldn't help but wonder if there's more to you than your looks?

Anways, I'm not into games and I'm sure you're the same way. E-mail me and let's see how far we go.

Awwww, you're so adorable....where can I get one just like you?

So you're cute.......

I'm hoping you're a little bit more interesting in person than your profile cos I was falling asleep here.

Beauty is common....If you take a look around this site you'll see there are beautiful people everywhere. What else do you have going for you besides your looks?

Wow, you're a real person. Great. I guess we have a couple of options here. We start an email relationship, fall madly in love, and maybe even get a priest to marry us in a live chat ceremony......

Then again, maybe we could get together for a cup of tea and some stimulating conversation and make friends. And then after I can validate that you're actually the cute gal in this picture I saw of you, we can talk about the online marriage thing.

Give me a call tonight, My number is (insert number). I'm a pretty busy person, and I can't guarantee that I'll be available when you call, but give it a try. And please call me before 11 PM because that's when my mom makes me go to sleep.

By the way, where can I reach you if I want to call you ten times a day.

Talk soon.

Important things to consider also are to use something about her profile in your first email.

Message Headings

Take something from her profile and use it as the subject line.

This member might be interested in you.

I'm a match to you or better.

Are you up to the challenge?

2nd Email

Hey (shortened name),

You go by.......? I don't know man shortenings of that name and I'd like to avoid typing that last 'lie' as I'm a busy man. So until further notice, (name) it is.

Provide a DHV story. Start off with 'Holy shit, you wouldn't believe what happened to me today.....'

In response to a negative/bad response 'Easy killer, I was just trying to send you something different. It sure beats the normal perv messages you get right?

2nd email after 1st email failure

Hey, listen, I sent you an email the other day and I never heard back from you and I was kinda shocked. Anyway, I was talking to a couple of guy friends the other day and we were talking about women and stuff like that and it's funny cos we all agreed that most average woman usually play hard to get and as guys we all know that, we know that game. But the woman that we really want, the sexy woman is very assertive and goes after what she wants and doesn't play those games.

Playing hard to get..... already?

:) Nice. I love it.

Here's a free tip: You're supposed to play hard to get after we meet not before.

Message to send if she's checked out your profile, with no message sent:

Hey, I found this little link on my profile that lets me see who has been looking at my profile and I noticed that you had looked at my profile, but like..... you didn't send me a message. It's kind of spooking me out, what are you...... like one of those weird people that walks around the back of houses looking through the window or something? Anyways, I read your profile and I don't know you're a little bit weird, but.... maybe we could talk.

Hey, I just came back from a seminar where they told us about stalkers on the internet and anybody who checks out our profile but doesn't send a message could be a stalker.

Important checks

Make sure to log on to the dating site daily to ensure that your profile rises to the top.

Get a second opinion from an attractive female to critique your profile.

Tone it down, don't brag.

Social proof yourself in photos, have male and female friends in pics.

Clean it up, spell check the profile.

Answer all questions and put as many pics as possible.

Great photos of you are ones with animals or in exotic places.

Speak your mind in your profile.

Women to avoid online

If they are using a lower case 'i', or haven't capitalised their name they have low self-esteem. Perhaps they have been treated poorly by men before. Check their spelling, grammar and punctation. If it's poor, they are a drama queen and it's difficult to give them orgasms.

High self esteem girls have goals, they went after them. They're happy to talk about themselves. They speak easily without the concern for approval.