There are four ways to handle shit tests:
a) ignore it completely
b) redirect the conversation
c) answer it and put up own shit test
d) neg her for her shit test
You love me don't you?
No, but you know what I do love, those little ice popsicles things, where at the end of it you can suck out all the popsicle juice from the wrapper thing.
You so want me don't you?
You'd better buy me a few drinks and a dinner before you talk to me like that again.
Why don't you get me a drink?
Why don't you do my laundry. You shouldn't be so sexist.
Do you have a girlfriend?
I don't have A girlfriend, I'm too much for one girl to handle.
You're just a player.
No, I'm an entertainer. I might entertain you for a little bit if you behave.
How many girls have you had sex with?
Enough to know what I'm doing.
So, how much do you make?
Not enough to keep you high maintenance girls happy.
I make enough to know not to ask people how much they make.
I'm on a period, so do you still want to hang out?
Well you farted earlier and that didn't bother me.
You're so mean.
I'm sorry, you didn't strike me as the insecure type.
Aww, don't cry! Here just cause I like you, you can have one free hug, but after that it's back to $20 a hit.
Why are you smiling so much?
Why so interested? My eyes are up here.
What makes you think you're so special?
(hold eye contact and wait till she blinks). I'm the undefeated starring contest champion of the world.
If she's making sexual remarks.
Do you usually come off this strong?
Why don't you have a girlfriend?
A girl? I'm too much for one to handle. I need a whole staff to tend to my needs. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and not to mention all the love notes she would have to write me..... I'm high maintenance.
Why are you talking to me then?
I was talking to other girls in here and all of them just wanted to get me in the sack, like I'm some kind of sex object. Then I saw you and thought to myself, finally a normal person.
You seem like you do this a lot?
Do you mean talking to people? Wow, a cool girl who's anti-social, that has to be a first.
I barely know you.
Consider yourself lucky. Some don't know me at all. You know not that I mention it, I really should take care of that (walk away and talk to as many girls as possible).
You're just trying to get into my pants.
Actually, I'm trying to get inside your head, but that's funny you think you have a chance.
My friend likes you (UG).
Your friend must get more attention than you then.
If you're not gonna buy me a drink then why are you over here?
I'm looking for women to do my laundry.
So why are you still by yourself?
I'm currently recruiting, so anyway how do you feel about dusting?
All are at home doing their chores, except good old Lisa who's parked in the car park for when I need a lift home. You any good at gardening?
Do you even remember my name?
(Yes) Was I suppose to (name)?
(No) Of course I do, but the real question is what does your ID picture look like?
(No) I'm Gavin and I am a recovering social butterfly (shake hands)
Does my bum look big in this dress?
I dunno, I'm no expert in bum questions, but this guy (point) seems to like it.
Is that what you say to all the girls?
Yes, but with you I really mean it.
I have a boyfriend.
So? What if I told you almost every girl I know uses that one.
No comments:
Post a Comment