Texting

Important things to remember when texting.

Wait as long as she does to reply to important questions.

If she's taking a long time to reply to an important question then send her

'I know you're in awe of talking to me, but I need an answer'.

Be quirky, fun, share off the wall observations. e.g I just saw a guy wearing a fanny pack. Can you believe that?

Recall an inside joke and her nickname. Hey (name)! I bet you are operating at a level of 100% dorkiness today.

Recall specific fun interaction and add a new challenge.

Wow! You sucked at........... I am going to bet you again and again.

Have a strong frame and lead the interaction. e.g.

We're going on a picnic and you are making the cookies.

We're going shopping! We need to get you some new clothes.

Make sure your texts are grammatically correct, spelt correctly and not full of text speech.

If she's only texting one line responses, don't reply with a paragraph.

You can gauge her 101s based upon her response rate, the effort she puts into her texts. If she's using lol and haha and smililes or if she reole plays the frame. or if she sends unprompted texts like What are you up to?

If she gives lame responses, no LOLs or oMG, and just one word responses then these are IODs.

Let her make the last remark.

Set up things instead of waiting around.

If she denies your invitation. Send her 'Break your plans. I'm more fun'.

If she accepts, set up a timebridge, send her 'I'll call you in a few and we'll make our detailed plan about this picnic. I take my picnicking seriously.

When you make the first text, put your name at the end unless your number is in her phone already.

If they don't remember you, send her 'You aren't Paris Hilton, you don't get that many numbers'.

An IOD text to send her is:

I'm thinking of going gay. If I find a guy my size, it'll double my wardrobe.

I like you. On a scale of 1-10. You score a maybe.

Intrigue texts to send her are:

Nothing can ruin this day.

Something reminded me of you.

I saw the cutest thing. (sea otters holding hands on youtube).

I met the coolest chick yesterday. If she responds (IOI). Too bad she wasn't all that.

A list of flirty messages:

I would go shopping with you, but I don't want you to be tempted to make out with me in the dressing room.

Hey make sure you look cute tonight.

Hey honey, I'm going to be home late. How are the kids?

Now were you just saying you liked......... just to get me to like you?

You don't like.........., I don't think this is going to work out.

Call me if you don't know what to wear.

I met this really cool girl, But she was just too hard to read, I don't know, you think she likes me?

A list of opener text messages:

What are you doing cutie :)

SURPRISE!

Knock knock.....

How's my favourite little brat doing? :)

Ciao bella! Mi amore! My cheri amore!

I just made you open your phone for no reason..... Looks like I've got you in check :)

Hey goof, I bet my weekend can beat up your weekend.

What sort of trouble are you causing?

I am luring girls to my house with candy, which do you prefer, M&Ms or Skittles?

Hey... do me a favour. Text me right back, Just say hi or something... my friends don't believe retards can text. We'll show them lil buddy.

Girls are gross....

Hey princess, I just came back from the aquarium and I saw the cutest fish.... It reminded me of you :P

I hope you are smiling, if not, just think of me.....

Aliens are coming to abduct all the good looking sexy ass people. You'll be safe. I'm just texting to say goodbye.

Remember tomorrow is 'Hug a retard' day, so don't so don't freak out like you did last year. No one is trying to hurt you.

I miss you and wanna see you, but this dumb security guard won't let me in the zoo. Is there any way you can escape?

Why'd you have to give my number to your mom, she won't quit calling me now.

Your (insert attribute) is the second most attractive thing about you.

How's my 2nd favourite (nationality) girl doing?

In (subsequent year), the HK government will start shipping retards away. I started crying when I thought of you. Be strong, wear your helmet and run.

Here's my number, but don't call me before 9AM, I need my beauty sleep.

Today is National Good Looking Day. Send this to someone goregous, but not me. I've been receiving this text all fucking day.

For flakes:

I just met your twin.

I like talking to you and I don't play games. I think we're really good together. Let's try it, if not then that's cool and I'm glad we met :)

For push-pull

Out of all the (name)'s I know...... I think you're my favourite.

You just popped in my head. So Hi. Now please stay out of there.

Everytime I see u, I smile. When u walk, I laugh. When u speak, I get excited. For some reason, retarded people amuse the hell out of me.

For same night

Sweet dreams, sexy :)

Hey, I hope you got home safe (name).

Help me! Hurry back. I'm being molested over here.

If you are awake, then do me a favour, delete this message and go to sleep.

For attraction:

Let's fly to Vegas, get married, argue about our kid's third name, divorce and grow old lonely and depressed.

I don't know who your boyfriend is....... but he's not spanking you enough.

I don't think you're ready for this jelly.

Awwww, you're so sweet. You're making me get diabetes.

I just don't think we should do this anymore..... Sometimes you just make me feel like I am just a piece of meat.

You have my number now but you're only allowed to call ONCE a day. By the way who was that sexy guy you were just talking to.

For comfort:

I was just thinking of you.....

Something about you always seems to make me smile :)

For sex:

I know my math; u+i=69

This is a breathalyzer test. Please blow into your phone. Result: Positive 90% for sperm breath.

We do it in bed. We do it on the sofa. We do it on the table. We even do it in the car. Yep...... We love texting. Send this to everyone you do it with.

I am afraid we are only expressing ourselves in a very "texual" kind of way.... we better slow it down..... lol

You're unbelivable, not even one phone call since we last had text..... lol.

I love how soft your lips are. I can't wait to kiss them again.

I can't think straight anymore. All I can think about is 'text' with you.

Mulit-liners

Stop

Stop what?

Stop thinking about me and smiling so much, see I bet you're doing it right now again. Stop it.

Send blank text.

Why did you just send me a blank message.

Babe you don't have to make up excuses just to talk to me/ I think my phone misses your phone.

OMG! You wouldn't believe what happened to me last night....

What?

Oh shit, sorry, wrong (her name)

Hey... guess what's hard and pink and goes in and out and comes out wet and sticky?

I don't know.

Guess and you'll get a prize when I see you.

I don't want that.

What, you don't want bubblegum?

Congratulations!

For what?

I was just thinking of you. Congratulations.

Your (attribute) is the 2nd most attractive thing you have.

What's the first?

Can't tell u unless you come out for coffee with me right now

OK, what is it?

Me